A quote I remember hearing sums up the last few weeks for me. Unfortunately, the quote I’d remembered came from the mouth of the biggest drugs cheat that sport has ever seen! So I’ve cleaned it, stripped the tainted Tour de France titles from it, and prepared it for your eyes!
“There comes a point in everyone’s life where they say ‘enough is enough’.”
That point has come for me over the last few weeks. A few weeks ago, the world gave me a two-week crash course in “This is everything that’s wrong with your life and why” in the form of depression. Since that fortnight (which, at the time, felt like anything but a blessing), I have generally been on an upward curve. This was probably around the tenth bad episode I’ve had over the last six years or so, and it will be the last. I decided – I think a short while after I began to climb up from the depths this last time – that enough was enough, and that I was going to do whatever it takes to make myself happy. There was so much that each episode has taught me, but this one was slightly different. This one seemed to teach me all the lessons I’d learned from the previous ones, and more! It also importantly, and probably as a result of the severity and breadth of this one, made me decide that I’m finally going to do something about the messages each episode had given me.
The messages the depression had for me this time are irrelevant to the main point of this post, but I’ll write the main one anyway: I have to stop searching outside yourself for the answers and for happiness – only I can make myself happy. After having wrote it just now, it seems so obvious, almost silly. But I know that this is the most important realisation I’ve had in my life – I’d always known it, but never really realised it before. (There’s a big different between knowing something and realising it.)
Back to the main point: enough was enough. The time had finally come to make myself happy. In the last few weeks, the transformation I feel inside me is huge! I’ve managed to do everything that I know helps me be happy (yoga, meditation, and doing huge courage if I notice the demons coming back) and, more importantly, I’ve stuck to it. In the past I’d do a bit here, and a bit there. But I’ve realised that I have to do these things every day – and I have.
Where in your life could you say “enough is enough” and start making the changes you need to make in order to make yourself happy?